Philippines Ban Contact Between Men and Women

Subic, Philippines - It all started with 'Nicole'.  'Nicole' was the victim of the famous Subic rape case victim. And when the exchange forces from America came to Subic for military exercises, 'Nicole' and her group of clueless whiners gathered at the port protesting the entry of American forces in the Philippines.

'Nicole', a court-appointed pseudonym, also appealed to the government not to allow more visits by American war vessels “to prevent the rape of more Filipinas by American soldiers.” The Palace seems to be pressured by their protest since 'Nicole' is backed by big-named idiots that hold positions in the government and by moralistic Christians who whine a lot. Media also backs 'Nicole', since her story sell their newspaper a lot and tv ratings rises whenever any update on this issue comes up.

However, critics are quick to criticize 'Nicole', since her statement made it seem that it is really worse to be raped by an American compared to a Filipino or by any other rapist
with a different nationality. 

In that case, 'Nicole' replied: "Although it is much better to be raped by our own countrymen compared to foreigners, we must not stop here! We must stop all contact between men and
women here in the Philippines in order to avoid rape."

Because all people, including the Christian moralists, Media men, politicians, injected the issue
 with needless politics and ranting and whining, Congress today have approved a law called 
"Nicole Law"

This law prohibits any contact by any man to a Filipino woman, regardless of his nationality in order to prevent the rape of Filipina women by men, regardless of their nationality.

Hilary Clinton is Accused of Re-using Bill Clinton's Speeches

Seattle, Washington, - Critics have been quick to criticize Hillary Clinton on her speach here today at the University of Washington regarding video game violence. Critics have judged
Hillary Clinton's speech is just exactly the same speech as her husband William Jefferson Clinton aka. Bill Clinton. They also quick to point out that Hillary's speech have always been the same speech she has been giving in the past few months.

Hillary Clinton's publicist denied the rumour that Hillary Clinton's speeches are always the same: "I don't know where the rumour came from, but Hillary's speeches are original and heartful 
speeches that came directly from her heart."

However, critics are quick to point out evidence that Hillary Clinton's speeches are the exact copy of her husband speeches, when before the speech began she pointed to a man and said "Nice 
boobs, how about giving me a nice blowjob later."

Women Are Far More Evil Than Hitler!

As you know, Bad-Ass priest Derick absolutely hates Filipino television shows. And I gotta agree with him. Filipino television shows these days are nothing but uninspired. They are nothing but cookie-cutter stories with stereotypical characters with typical plot-twists with lame ending. All of them are lame.

From Marina to Panday to Mulawin to Super Inggo, all of the Filipino television shows are nothing more than brainless entertainment. However, what is more aggravating is that all the women in Filipino television shows are scheming, conniving, manipulative, controlling, scary, and evil bitches. They are far worse even than Hitler himself.

You probably want to know why these women are worse than Hitler. Well, if you are familiar or watched at least one tv series made in the Philippines, you will see that there is no male villain in any of the shows. All of the villains in these shows are women, and scheming too. The female villains in Filipino tv series are so evil and good at making elaborate blackmailing schemes.

These women are not just good at making elaborate evil schemes, but they are also good at giving menacing looks. They also team up with other female villains to gang up on a person, just only to backstab each other at the end. And even if there are male villains in the tv series, they are really just working for their evil female boss.

So join me and Derick to vanquish all these uninspired crap from Filipino television shows before we are totally overrun by scheming, conniving, manipulative, controlling, scary, and evil bitches that are far worse than Hitler himself.

Why Fucking Adult Sex MMORPGs Do Not Work

MMORPGs like WOW are very popular these days. Everyday, companies that make these MMORPGs earn millions of dollars. And its the law of the universe that sex sells. In fact porn sells billions of dollars. So, what do you get if you combine MMORPG and porn, a Multibillion-dollar earning industry? Fuck no! It is like hell walked on earth.

I know you'll ask me why a sex-based MMORPG will not work. Come on dipshit! Try to use your brain a little. I know you idiots don't have a brain, but this thing doesn't even need thinking.

If there will be a sex-based MMORPG, men would be roleplaying as women having sex with men. Man, that is gay.

And that is the very reason why although so many game companies tries to make a sex-based MMORPG but can't do it.

Computer Shops That Sell Defective Products Should Close Down

I hate computer shops that sell defective products. These computer shops sell defective products that only work for as long as your warranty last. And when the computer's warranty run out, your computer will break down. It is like these computer shops put a time bomb inside the computer that will go off when the computer's warranty expires.

What is more aggreviating here is that these fucking computer shops won't repair your computer. They will just say "Sorry, can't do jack. But we will give you a 10% discount on your next computer purchase for the inconvenience of having a computer break down on you days after your computer's warranty expired." Fuckers!

So as you can see, these computer shops are money-grabbing assholes that want to get more money from you by selling defective products with short limited warranty and high prices.


Listed in Technorati under humor, satire, comedy, random stupidity

Due To Popular Demand, I Am Going Back To Review Porn Again (Not Safe For Work) First Porn Review: Reality Show + Porn = Comedy?

Yeah, a lot people complained to me that I have only reviewed and wrote 2 porn-related materials. You sick people want me to write more porn movies and hentai game reviews. The reason why I didn't continue writing about the horrors of porn and hentai games is because no amount of intelligence can be found in your brain sick fucks! Don't view this webpage at work! Do it at home! Don't masturbate will viewing porn in your office table. Just think about all that spunk that will dry on your keyboard and monitor.

But yesterday, Jesus called and said that I can review porn and hentai games again. And he left me a very insightful message:

"Derick, go ahead and post porn and hentai game reviews that are not safe for work. If they get fired because they are viewing your site, it is because they're stupid!"

So without further ado, I am going to review porn movies and hentai games again. And probably all of those stupid Candy Girl and Realdoll will be included too.

Anyway, I can say that reality shows are quite hot these days. Mindless idiots who have no life and no sense of reality will watch them. That is why alot of reality shows get high ratings. While porn on the other hand, is the most watched show ever, in any country and in any religion. So what do you get when you combine reality show and porn together? Riho Nanase: 24/7 Bukake anytime, anywhere.

The premise of this awful porn is like what all reality shows do: Lock up some dumb broad in a house, and fuck them in the face. Well, this porn does things further by doing it literaly.

This porn shows how a ordinary girl living in a small apartment that is monitored by cameras. At random times, random guys will enter her apartment and wank and then shoot their cum at her. And when I say at random times, I really mean it.

The puke-inducing porn innocently start with random group of guys coming into Riho's apartment when she was watching tv. And these guys, I tell you, they are fans of Ben Stiller. They make a homage to the equally puke-inducing movie "There's something about Mary" by shooting their semen to the Riho's hair:

What a cool gel!

Then the while Riho was eating pudding, another group of sick wankers entered her apartment and proceded to spank their wanking sausage and cum on Riho's pudding

cum-covered pudding, anyone?

And this porn lives up to its name of 24/7 bukake anytime, anywhere as another group of guys comes in while Riho is talking to someone with her cellphone. Then the group
brandish their wanking sausage and spurt their man juice while Riho is still talking with someone on her cellphone.



Caller: You said a mouthful lady

After a few hours of non-stop onslaught of guys wanking at Riho's face, breast and wherever they can think of, they left Riho for a nice good long sleep. But in the kooky world of porn, no one is safe. So another group of guys came in while Riho is sleeping and cum on her face, again...

Guy:Rise and shine! Oh yeah, I'm cumming in your face!
Riho: Darn it! I knew I should have just bought a regular alarm clock!

And after all the stupid wanking on Riho's face, I guess all the guys drop the pretense and went all out. The bukake ensemble gather all around Riho and give Riho the tsunami cum on her face.


If you feel that I rushed the review, I admit that I did. No amount of alcohol can wash away the stupidity of reality show and porn mix from my eyes.

In the end, Riho Nanase: 24/7 Bukake anytime, anywhere is like a type of a very bad reality show that you can only watch when your parents are already asleep. It simulates reality shows witch bad porn and expect you to watch it.

Bottom line of this horrible porn is that reality shows and porn are a deadly mix. And you must have enough rope near you so you can hang yourself or bang your head against the computer table hard enough in order to stop the part of your brain responsible for comprehension.

And if you are asking me where to get these kind of porn, go fuck yourselves.

Listed in Technorati under humor, satire, comedy, random stupidity, porn, movies

What's Better Than A Bad-Ass Priest? Well, A Kick-Ass Nun!

Listen up, my loyal subjects, this is Derick, your resident Bad-Ass priest. As much I kick asses for the Lord, it seems that stupidity keeps growing and growing. So coming from our Church of Bad-Assery, our resident Kick-Ass Nun Etna will help fight stupidity of the world.

Starting this week, Etna will start kicking asses with kick-ass articles. So keep reading and support the Church of Bad-Assery