Due to Bad-Assery, I Have a Direct Phoneline to God

You know, every year, we always have doomsayers that always predict the end of the world in that year or something like that. These people are fucking stupid, they keep predicting every single bad thing that happens as an omen that the world is nearing its end. And stupid thing here is that, when it doesn't happen, they will say God has given us more time and whatever shit they think of and then they again predict the end of the world. I tell you, it is an idiot, vicious cycle.

And the funny thing here is, is that these doomsayers keep using unrelated things as an omen that the world will end. Remember when these idiots say that the credit card is the '666' mark and that is an omen that the world will end? Or how about the 2K or so-called 'millenium bug' signals the end of the world?

Remember when these fucking doomsayers said that the world will end in September 23, 1997? No? You don't remember? That's okay, neither these doomsayers remember either.
What about in 1999, when these assholes predicted that the world will end in exactly January 1, 2000, do you still remember? No? You don't remember either? That's okay, that prediction was asinine to begin with. Or how about the World Trade Center incident? You don't remember it? That's okay too, you were probably too busy bombing Iraq.

Well, since I am a bad-ass priest that kicks a lot of ass for the Lord, the Lord actually given me his phone number. So, I usually contact the Lord everytime these doomsayers predict about the end of the world. And usually, our conversation ends something like below:

Me: "Hey, what's up?"
Lord: "Yo, what's up?"
Me: "Anyway, I heard some doomsayers say that the world will end next month"
Lord: "Yeah. I'm planning some hailstorm, cometstrikes, simultaneous volcano eruptions and such. You know, typical end of the world stuff."
Me: "Okay. Well then, I'll see you in a month"

After a month,

Me: "Yo Dude!"
Lord: "Hey man!"
Me: "Hey I thought you are going to end the world this month."
Lord: "Oh, I completely forgot all about it. Oh well, I guess you all get to live until another doomsayer says otherwise."
Me: "Uh... okay."

Yep, that happens a lot. Man I hate doomsayers a lot.

Listed in Technorati under humor, satire, comedy, random stupidity
religion