How to Make an Idiotic Song Popular

Man, I hate radio and music today. Every time that I turn on the radio, nothing but noise comes out. Bullshit boybands, craptastic divas and annoying emo rock bands are littering the airwaves today. The most stupid thing here is that even their noise (music to other people, I mean idiots) is really piercing and is destroying everyone’s eardrums, their music is popular.

Now, since I wonder how these fucking crap litter the airwaves, I did some investigation on how these stinking turd they call music became popular. And for you idiots, I broke it down in simple pointers on how these stupid idiots made their crap popular:

Note(combination or these elements or putting all of these elements will determine how much their crap will be popular)

・ Put any of these words in the lyrics: “oooh”, “yeah”, “baby”, “wooah”

・ Must have a diva or boy band sing the fucking song

・ The chorus must be repeated a fucking thousand times till your ears bleed

・ Pay the stupid radio station to play the idiotic song a thousand times every single day

・ Create a fucking hype about how the song is popular to create a bandwagon effect

・ If the song is not yet charting the Top 1 of the daily best songs, the people does not hate the song, they have not heard it enough

It is really amazing how idiotic shits keep churning out crap like this. It is a shame really. But then again, these bastards have no shame and idiots will keep listening to their crap.

Listed in Technorati under humor, satire, music, comedy

I Donated a Total of $ 60 Million to Charity

You know, one day when I was reading the news a few years ago, there was an article about an idiot of a singer who wants to go to outer space. Yep, it’s the idiot Justin Timberlake. He’s the fucking idiot member of the stupid band N’Sync. And he wants to go the outer space. Now, rabid fans of him are calling up people to donate at least a dollar to send him to the outer space. Ever since then, I donated a total of $ 60 million in order to send not just Justin Timberlake, but all of the fucking, idiotic boy bands. Yes, that includes Menudo.

But you know I donated a total of $ 60 million not just to send all those fucking idiots to outer space. I donated that kind of money in order to send them to outer space and not have them be sent back. And doing that, I made this world a better place by not having any dipshit and dimwit boy bands.

And so you ask why I hate boy bands? Do you idiots have to even ask? These fucking boy bands are gay. They can’t sing, they can’t even dance, what they can only do is do some pretty faces and poses on screen and girls with IQ of 0 come swooning over them. I will tell you a setup that all boy bands follow.

A generic boy band consists of the following:

* 1 singer that has some singing skills, but still sings like a boy screaming when being circumcised.

* 1 poser or dancer that has decent looking faces in order to draw idiotic and stupid girls in.

* 2 gays

* In any case that the boy band has five or more members, the additional members are gay.

Look at them, look at all the boy bands. These fucking idiots don’t have any fucking skills and talent. Look at N’Sync, did they have a successful solo singing career when they separated? No. Okay, we can take Justin Timberlake into account, but the fucking shrimp still didn’t have a successful singing career. How about the asinine Backstreet Boys? When they broke up, did Nick Carter have a successful career to save his fucking ass from bankruptcy? Hell no! That’s the reason why the Backstreet Boys got together again, so they can earn money by fooling with stupid girls with IQ of 0.

That is why I donated a lot of money in order to send these fucking idiots to outer space. And you should be grateful to me since I am doing this to make the world a better place.

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Stupid Music Artists are Trying to Stop Music Piracy but Fail at It

Yep, these posers that call themselves music artists are crying in public telling people that the music industry is losing alot of money because of piracy. Boo hoo hoo, cry me a river assholes. You assholes and dipshits don't even deserve my sympathy.

You assholes and dipshits think you're music artists? I say you are all rip-off artists. In the past few years, you assholes and dipshits have been just remaking, reviving old songs from golden age of rock and pop. It would be good if you could sing, but no, you asswipes have to butcher the song with your pathetic voice and stupid random pose for the camera smile. Great smile asshole! It makes me want to punch your stupid face.

But not only did you revive and remake songs from random singers and music artists, now you dipshits have to revive songs from famous bands from the 90's with your goddamn awful voice. Way to go dipshits, you all sunk to a new low.

But wait, I thought you sunk to the lowest depth of hell by repeated revivals and remakes. No, you have to sink to lower than that, you have to completely rip-off songs from obscure bands from other countries or rip-off songs from music artists from other countries and say these songs were made by you assholes.

But you know dipshits and asswipes, apparently, there are some people have a functioning brain and realize your stupid gimmick. And people now are angry at you because you pulled a lame-ass stunt of ripping off songs. So you dimwits have to make a reason and excuse for the stunt you did. You assholes try to escape the issue by calling it "inspired" by other musicians' songs, or calling the ripping of songs as a stupid "homage" to your favorite musicians. Yeah right, assholes. You assholes did great work on making up excuses. But strip down all your fancy words, the message is still clear: Plagairism. You rip-off songs from other musicians, plain and simple.

Here is a sample list of plagiarized songs and the culprits:

My Sassy Girl theme song = Jimmy Bondoc's "I Believe"

Kobayashi Akiko's "Koi ni Ochite ~ Fall in Love" = Louie Heredia's "Una At Huling Mamahalin"

Utada Hikaru's First Love = made into a Tagalog song by Jessa Zaragosa

"Itoshi no Ellie (Ellie My Love)" = made into a Tagalog song by April Boys

Charade by BeeGees = Hajji Alejandro's "Tag-araw, Tag-ulan"

Chandeliers by The Care = Pinoy Ako of Orange and Lemons

The Housemartins' "Happy Hour" = Orange and Lemons' "A Beginning of Something Wonderful"

The Smith's "The Headmaster Ritual" = Orange and Lemons' "Caught in Line"

Silverchair's "Greatest View = Cueshe's "Stay"

Super Drag's "Garmonbozia" = Session Road's "Leaving you"

Need for me to say more?

So the lesson for the day: Why the hell shouldn't I support piracy when the musicians themselves are not original!

Listed in Technorati under humor, satire, comedy, music